Calming the Waves

"Suddenly a violent storm arose on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves. But He was sleeping. So the disciples came and woke Him up, saying, 'Lord, save us! We're going to die!' But He said to them, 'Why are you fearful, you of little faith?' then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea. And there was a great calm. the men were amazed and asked, 'what kind of man is this? Even the winds and the sea obey Him!'"

We have a God who is big enough to calm the greatest of torrential storms in our hearts and in our lives. Never should we fear because He is able to save us from anything. If we trust in Him, he can take all of the storms in our lives and replace them with the most beautiful calm. "Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Ten Days and a Lifetime

What would you do if you only had ten days to prove yourself?

I have spent two solid years of my life learning Spanish for this moment. It has been my life, my passion, and my love. To other people, Spanish is a class. It's extra work and a good way to get high school credits. But for me it is the earthly factor that decides my future. God has a plan for my life. It is a great plan, as is everyone's on this earth. But I can't just sit there and wait for him to make it happen. I believe that acheiving your purpose in life requires you to work for it. When God spoke to my heart and told me to learn Spanish, I did. Two years led to this point, and now I have ten days.

I have ten days to prove to myself that with God anything is possible. With God, I can learn a language that is completely foreign, bring it to its home language and speak it to the people in order to really get to their hearts where as before I was unable to do this.

I have ten days to express my passionate love for the people of Honduras and show them that God loves them more than I ever could.

I have ten days to gain an insight from the country that I could never gain in America. Only a country like Honduras could show you that you can live in poverty and still have abounding contentment.

I have ten days to see the people that I haven't seen for two years, establish new friendships, and begin my career as a third world country missionary.

Ten days is so short after two years. Ten days is so short when I think about the year that will stretch after it. When I think of only ten days I feel like panicking.

But I have a lifetime to bring Honduras back home. I have a lifetime to live my life as a missionary here in the United States. And even if I have to wait twenty years to go back, a little part will always be back here with me in my home with the people that I love. And that's what I love about life.

I'm extremely bored out of my mind right now, the reasons being that a) I don't have any more chores to do, which is actually a lie since I believe the dishwasher just washed the rest of the dishes and I have to put them away but whatever, b) all of my friends are either in a third world country, half way across the country, a few cities away, or they just plain don't email, c) I'm sick of video games, and d) I don't feel like doing anything productive. Oh well. I guess I don't have much to complain about. Except for the fact that I have to work starting tomorrow. But that's okay. I need money really bad.

So anyways, the moral to the story is that I really don't have any reason whatsoever for doing this blog entry, and it was kind of stupid anyways, so whatever.

Speaking of stupid, I am really quite a dumb person. Today at church KEEGAN didn't show up, and he usually runs the sound, so the result was (since there is no one else in the entire church, besides my family who were all not there, that even have a vague sense of how to run the sound) that I got nominated. Great. So, of course there was a lady who needed a cd played for special music, and (for future reference) I have no clue how to play a cd. So I promptly pressed play and nothing happened. So the poor lady had to read the words instead of sing them. It was not two minutes after the words were quite emotionally read that I discovered that I had needed only to turn one stupid nob on the stupid sound system. I was so angry that after church I had to go for a mile run to burn off some steam.

So that was my day for you. Great. Not really. Anyways, I think I'll go clean out the dishwasher and maybe make the kitchen look tip top since I have nothing else to do. K bye.

Bree

Months

Yeah, it's been a while, sorry. Oh well.

Life's pretty peachie now, not going to lie. I have everything I could possibly want, and I have nothing stressful in my life which could only mean one thing.... I have no where to go but down.

Hey, bring it on. In my humble opinion the trials are as good as the peachie moments because of that one blessed verse....'And we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Oh yeah. (don't ask me where that is. Somewhere in Romans)

So bring on the trials, because frankly, a life full of peaches does get boring after a while, and I never seem to be growing as a person when I'm reclining on a couch getting fat. (spiritually fat, in case you know what I look like....)

Some Advice

Having a bad day? Vaccum up some flies and then listen to the vaccum cleaner afterwards. It's hilarious. K bye.

Another Poem

Take me Away

What can I do
To keep you from me
Clawing at my life
You won’t set me free
You have ripped me away
From what could have been mine
How far will you go?
How long ‘til I die?

Take me away
From these flames that have found me
Break me away
I can’t hold on

When did you find me
Trapped within myself
With every breath you lied
That fear was far from me
Take your hands off my life
I can hear you screaming
You want to destroy me
But he’s already won

Take me away
From these flames that have found me
Break me away
I can’t hold on

You can’t destroy me
Break me free
You can’t destroy me
Break me free

Missing Honduras

The trip for Honduras left on Thursday (the same day as “THE BLIZZARD OF ’06!!!!” as the news exaggerated it.) Of course, I was not with them.

I have tried endlessly to try to get people to see my passion for these people. It seems that Americans are too caught up in their ways to see that there is a whole other world beyond their miniscule existence. I have seen some of this world. However, I have begun to understand that you can’t just force people to see what you see, and have them share in your enthusiasm. They have to go out and see it for themselves to truly understand. I count myself blessed to have seen it so early.

But I am not content just to see it once, or twice. Going there has planted in me a deep, unquenchable, God-given desire to go back, to be back. I can see those people now. I can see Henrry, a wonderful Christian Honduran, on the last day that I was with him and his family. He sat next to us, his face drawn in sadness as he tried to communicate his feelings to us, people who can’t even speak his own language. I remember him using packets of salt to illustrate to us what he was trying to say. Taking one packet, he said in Spanish, “This is you”. Then, pointing to the other, he said “This is me. Today, we are together.” He put the two packets side by side. “Tomorrow,” he said, now pulling them apart, “tomorrow, we will be apart”. How can I banish from my mind an image like that? I haven’t seen him since that day. Still apart. Still tomorrow.

I have struggled the past few days with this, asking God why he did not provide the money for me to go back. Why could I not be united again with the people that my heart lies with? I can never understand His mysterious ways, though I know that he has a reason for everything.However, I know that my story in Honduras is not over. I cannot stay away. Part of my heart will always be there with its people.

Here is a poem that I wrote.

My Torture

Wishing to be somewhere else
passion awakened,
How can I sleep in my own bed
when I know I can be
sleeping, fading, smiling
where I long to be?

I don’t want to be forgotten,
am I? or do they remember
as I do
their smiles, their love, their kisses
everything just how it should be
together today.

But am I just another girl
like all the others?
or am I in love
like no one else
do I have something
unique that brings me back

I know that in my eyes
this place is heaven
it is torture
to think that I could be
with them, I know
one week is to short, a lifetime too long

Will they remember
Will they ask
Will they wonder
where is she? Thinking of you.
Apart tomorrow.